What Dreams May End
by Mokibobolink
Summary: Dark, angsty AU take on the end of season 2. Tony is devastated after losing someone he loves. Gibbs must help him to move on and not lose himself in his quest to capture the one responsible. Angst!/Hurt!Tony, PapaGibbs, Father/son, friendship, family
1. Chapter 1

_Hi folks, __  
_

_Sorry for the long intro but I felt this one needed a bit of an explanation. _

_  
__This entire fic was born from a dream I had one night last week. It was easily the longest and most detailed dream I've had in a very long time and it was all about NCIS. The moment I woke up I started writing it down and most of what you'll read here is from the dream itself, everything from the flashing back and forth to some of the dialogue. All of it showed up in my dream. I've simply added to it to make the story run together better and tacked an end on it. ___

It is AU and m_ostly it's just a different take on how Season 2 could have ended as Kate still dies and it's still Ari who does it (though in my story he and Ziva are not related at all). I've labeled it Tony/Kate as they do have a relationship but you won't really see it, only the results of it in the aftermath of Kate's death._

_I should also mention that my biological clock must be ticking like crazy recently because this is the second fic I've done in a month with a baby in it. Though then again it could have something to do with the fact that many of my friends had babies this year and I've spent a lot of time playing with them. Who knows? _

_  
__So here goes my experiment in "dream writing".... __  
_

Chapter One

Gibbs got out of his car, the first one to arrive on the scene. The address was familiar. Too familiar. He didn't want to know what he would find inside the small home. A neighbor had called in, reporting shots fired. The LEOs had found one body and an ID. Once they knew it was an NCIS case, they had left the body where it was. Leaving the house quickly, they were careful not to disturb the scene. They knew what NCIS was like when their crime scene had been compromised.

Gibbs thought about the facts that he knew from the call.

One body.

Which one?

Did it matter?

He didn't want to find either.

He walked in alone, drawing his weapon though he knew he'd find no one else in the house. As he walked by the driveway he saw the sedan was gone, the Mustang the only car parked in front. Did that mean he knew who he'd find inside? No, not necessarily. Either one of them could have taken the sedan.

Gibbs didn't want to go in but knew that he had to do it. He couldn't leave it to the rest of his team to find what was in there. He didn't like it but it was his job. He had to soften the blow. Nothing would take away the pain that was to come. The best he could do was to make it a little easier. Give them the news before they had to see it.

He walked past the living room, down the hall towards the house's two bedrooms. That's where he found her.

She was sitting up against the wall. Her eyes looked straight ahead. Gibbs saw fear and shock in her face. She hadn't expected this. Then again, who would?

Something was wrong though. More wrong that the bullet hole in her forehead and the dead stare in her eyes. Looking at her, Gibbs saw something was….different.

He noticed many things at once. The flatness of her stomach. The overnight bag by the door. The infant car seat box opened, its contents strewn about as if someone had been in a hurry to set it up. Then one final item caught his attention.

The hospital wristband on her arm.

Gibbs remembered the blinking light on his cell phone that morning. He'd turned it off after finishing with the boat the previous night, sure that his ex would call again - the message light that morning only confirmed his suspicions. Now he knew that the call must have come from Tony.

Gibbs had apparently missed the happy announcement.

If that were true then…

Gibbs jumped up to a standing position, gun held ready again, walking towards the nursery. He entered the room silently, though not as silent as the room itself. Not having a clear view into the crib at first, he felt and heard his heart pounding against his own chest as he stepped forward slowly, barely daring to look inside.

_Please God…. _Gibbs thought.

Two feet away from the crib he finally got a view inside and found a newborn sleeping soundly, full and happy, with no idea of what had just happened to his mother. Gibbs lowered his gun in relief.

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

_7 months earlier…._

"You want to explain this?" Gibbs threw a piece of paper in front of Tony, making the younger man jump. He hadn't even been aware that his boss had entered the room.

"What is it, Boss?" Tony asked, reaching for the paper curiously. He saw the title at the top and his eyes flew open.

"How?" Tony asked quietly.

"The Director had me doing paperwork, a routine Evaluation. When I do that I have to…"

"Pull the agent's current records, do a fresh background search." Tony finished Gibbs' sentence. He couldn't believe his luck. They'd wanted to tell him themselves, not have him find out like that.

"Well would you believe that we had Abby do it for an undercover assignment?" Tony asked with a quick grin.

Gibbs didn't smile back.

"Nah, I didn't think so." Tony replied.

"You got MARRIED??" Gibbs asked incredulously.

"Boss, listen…" Tony began soothingly, holding both hands up.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"We know how you feel about this kind of thing, Boss."

"There's a reason for that, DiNozzo"

"We know but this is different."

"I've never seen a relationship work within a team before." Gibbs said sadly, shaking his head.

"Neither have we. That's why…." Tony hesitated, clearing his throat nervously.

"What?"

"Kate's going to quit NCIS."

Gibbs was shocked. Kate was one of the most dedicated agents he'd ever seen, male or female. For her to give it all up must mean she'd been talked into it. He slammed his fist on Tony's desk.

"Give up her career? Did you ask her to do this??"

"No it's not like that," Tony said calmly. "This was her decision, Gibbs. She wants this, knows it will be best for…"

"For who? You?" Gibbs was furious. "What? Couldn't stand the thought of your wife working in a dangerous job? Good enough for you but not her?"

Gibbs wasn't prepared for the look of shock and hurt on Tony's face but he barreled on anyway. It was his way when angry, letting words fly without caring about the consequences.

"Gibbs it's not like that." Tony repeated quietly.

"What's it like, then? You tell me DiNozzo."

Kate…" Tony hesitated, wary of what Gibbs might do to him when he heard the next piece of news.

"What?"

"She's pregnant."

_To be continued……_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

_present…_

Tony pulled up to his house and found it surrounded by local LEOs and another car that he recognized as Gibbs'.

He tried to make sense of it all. Gibbs must have come by to see the baby. Maybe the police were there for his neighbors? Had something happened while he was out?

He parked the car and got out, a grocery bag in his hand. Kate hadn't been due for another week and they hadn't even gotten diapers yet when she'd gone into labor. It had been his first errand after they'd gotten home from the hospital early that morning. The new father had only been gone for 20 minutes.

Unfortunately it was all the time Ari had needed.

As he walked up his drive, Tony could no longer deny that the police, ambulance and all the people were gathered around his house. The house that held his wife and new baby.

The bag dropped forgotten out of his arms as he ran to his front door, screaming his wife's name.

Gibbs heard the ruckus outside and knew what it meant, dreading it since the moment he'd found Kate in the hallway. Leaving the sleeping baby still in his crib, he ran to the door to intercept his Senior Field Agent.

When Gibbs got outside of the door he found three agents trying to hold back the frantic husband and new father. Outnumbered as he was, they were barely keeping Tony under control. There wasn't much that could stop a man who'd lost everything. Gibbs knew that from experience.

Afraid that someone might get hurt, Gibbs took over, reaching for Tony's arm.

"DiNozzo!"

The voice broke through Tony's terror, grief....agony. He looked at his boss.

"Gibbs?"

Tony's voice sounded like a lost child. In one word he asked everything he wanted to know, even though he didn't want to know it.

"The baby's fine, Tony," Gibbs said softly. He wanted to give the man something to hold onto, a small glimmer of hope.

Tony's knees buckled and he staggered. Gibbs was there in an instant, his arm around the younger man's shoulders.

Tony looked into Gibbs' eyes, tears streaming.

"Kate?"

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

_Six months earlier…._

Tony got properly plastered at his bachelor party. Well maybe "party" wasn't the right word. After all it consisted of only himself and Gibbs and they spent it talking, laughing and working on the ever-present boat. Come to think of it "bachelor" wasn't the right word either, considering Tony was technically already married.

They also wisely did it the week before the wedding reception. Gibbs knew Kate would kill him (and she had the skill to do it too) if Tony had shown up at the reception hung-over.

After some talking, some yelling and a LOT of explanations, Gibbs had finally come to terms with Tony and Kate's relationship. He didn't like that they'd hid it from him but when he saw the two of them together, he forgave. Kate positively glowed with excitement about the baby, happily requesting a transfer to another department and a desk job.

Gibbs had even helped out when Abby had suggested giving the two a wedding reception. The couple had basically eloped and everyone was excited to throw them a party.

The entire "family" gathered together at a favorite restaurant. Gifts were brought, toasts were given, and everyone celebrated the happy couple. The Monday afterwards, Tony returned to work and Kate moved to her new office.

The team greeted Kate's replacement about a week later, Officer Ziva David. Everything was perfectly and utterly normal.

Gibbs kept track of his growing godson, still comfortably ensconced in his mother's womb. Tony brought in sonogram pictures and even a video, bragging at his son's "pride" with many winks.

Gibbs' "family" had been growing.

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

_Present…_

Tony looked into Gibbs' eyes, tears streaming.

"Kate?"

Again with one word, Tony said it all, asked it all.

Gibbs didn't need to say anything, his silence spoke volumes. Tony had long ago learned to understand the other man when he said nothing. What little strength there had been in Tony's legs gave out and Gibbs guided him to the front step, not allowing him inside yet. The younger agent wasn't aware of anyone or anything around him as his grief took over. He sobbed without shame into Gibbs' shoulder and the older man held him hard, also without shame. Shame had no place there that morning.

After a few minutes Gibbs saw a familiar face walking towards them through the crowd. Catching Ducky's eyes, he nodded his head towards the house. Mouthing two words at the ME, Gibbs received a nod in return and Ducky disappeared inside silently. The older man returned minutes later with a blanket in his arms.

"Tony," Ducky whispered, getting the younger man's attention quietly. Tony looked up and Ducky's heart nearly broke at the pain in his friend's face. Ducky's chin quivered a little as he spoke again.

"He's fine," the older man said and put the blanket in Tony's arms. He and Gibbs both hoped that a father's love would help a husband's grief.

"Thank you," Tony whispered gratefully, holding his son tightly.

_To be continued…._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

_Weeks later…._

Gibbs knew what Tony was going through and yet he had no clue at all.

"Tony," he said, about to make the same statement he'd made more nights in a row than he cared to remember. "It's late, you should get home."

"I'm onto something, Boss," came the usual reply. Tony didn't bother to look up from his computer. He hadn't moved since they'd gotten back from their last case. He'd finished his report in record time and hadn't even gone to get himself lunch. If Abby or McGee didn't bring him food, Gibbs was sure that the younger man would never eat at the office. He was looking more gaunt every day and it pained Gibbs to see him that way. Gibbs knew for a fact that Tony spent every waking moment away from the office seeing to the needs of his newborn son, more often than not letting his own needs go unnoticed.

When he was in the office though, Tony's only thought was to catch Ari.

Gibbs understood the need to find whoever had taken away your life and your love. He understood Tony would never stop, would never _want_ to stop. Not until whoever had done it was gone.

Not caught.

Gone.

Dead.

The difference was that Gibbs hadn't had a child at home. He wondered how that would have changed things in his case. Would he have given up the hunt? Gone home at a decent hour every night? Made sure to do basic things like feed and take care of himself?

As much as he tried to push Tony to do just those things Gibbs knew that he himself would be doing just as Tony was. Knew that there would be no way that he'd be able to relax and just be a father while his wife's killer was still out there.

So he said nothing, stopped pushing. Allowed Tony to do what he needed.

Besides, the baby was fine. Between Abby, Ducky, McGee and even Ziva, he had constant attendance from many loving arms. Some said it took a village to raise a child and little Giovanni (known as Vanni to his many admirers) was getting just that. He spent his days in Abby's lab, close enough for Tony to see him whenever he needed.

When he first returned to work, only a week after the murder, Tony had some anxiety about letting the baby out of his sight. He'd be working and suddenly feel like he couldn't breathe, his heart racing as if he were fighting against some unknown foe. The first time it had happened, Gibbs had been truly scared for his agent, not sure what it meant. It was Ducky who had calmed Gibbs' own fears, pointing out that Tony's reaction was completely normal.

Through trial and error, they discovered that once the anxiety hit the only thing that helped Tony was being able to hold his son. It was as if by holding the baby he was able to tell himself that at least his son was okay, that he was safe and sound, even if Kate no longer was. It was some semblance of control in a world Tony hardly recognized as his life anymore.

As soon as Gibbs saw the difference in the younger man after a few such visits with the baby, he had done everything in his power to allow the child in the building on a daily basis. It wouldn't be forever. They all knew that. It was only for now. Only for as long as Tony needed.

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

_A week later….._

The call came in the middle of the night. Ari had been spotted trying to leave the country. He had escaped but a BOLO had tracked down his car. It had been parked haphazardly in a wooded area, obvious tracks showing a desperate man taking off on foot.

Gibbs and Tony holstered their guns, making for the elevator at the same time.

Ziva and McGee weren't quite as fast but they followed just moments later. When they got to the elevator they found their way blocked by Gibbs' strong arm.

"You two stay here, follow up with the local LEOs and let us know if anything changes," he said, giving them no chance to protest before the doors closed on them.

Alone, the two men rode down to the garage level in silence. Gibbs had left the other two out of the job on purpose. There was only one way for it to end and he didn't want either of them involved. As it was, he was going to have his hands full keeping Tony alive. He understood not caring for your own safety when hunting down the man who'd killed your wife. It would be his job that night to remind the younger man that a child still needed him.

Unlike Gibbs so many years ago, Tony actually _did_ have something to lose.

They found the car and followed the trail into the woods, easily finding it despite the darkness of the cold night. Ari wanted to be found, wanted Gibbs to know that he was ready. For Gibbs knew that despite the horror that had been heaped upon Tony, this, all of it, was for him. Ari had decided to go after Gibbs by going after those he cared about most.

Gibbs wished that he could be out in the woods on his own. He knew that nothing would please Ari more than to take out Tony. Take him out with Gibbs watching helplessly, preferably. Stopping Tony from coming hadn't been an option, despite the risk. Gibbs wouldn't want to be left behind when the time came to take down the man who'd killed his family, he'd be damned if he was going to deny Tony that right.

Tony's hand flew up and Gibbs stopped, slowly and silently coming forward till he was next to the younger man. In silent hand signals, Tony told him that he'd seen signs of something up ahead. Gibbs nodded and they moved off as one in matching flanking maneuvers, intent on trapping their quarry between them.

Unfortunately they played right into Ari's hands. Gibbs saw the muzzle flash before he even had a chance to yell a warning.

Tony dropped and Gibbs fired in the same second. Using the muzzle flash to determine not only where his target was, but also where the kill spot would be. A double tap ended Ari's life, just as Ari knew it would. Gibbs only hoped that Ari's final attempt to get at him hadn't worked. Ari thought that he had killed Tony. Gibbs prayed that Ari was wrong.

Gibbs ran to Tony's side, barely daring to breathe as he felt for a pulse. He could feel blood pooling into the soft ground under his knees as he knelt by Tony's side. It ran warm over his fingers as well and just when he was sure that Ari had indeed completed his final wish, he felt a thump under his shaking fingers.

Bowing his head in relief, he called for the backup that should have been with them all along but that neither of them had wanted.

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

Hours (or was it days?) later Gibbs sat in a waiting room alone. Abby and Ducky had taken the baby to Tony's house to await further news and Ziva and McGee were handling the cleanup at the scene.

When the doctor came out, Gibbs' head was still reeling and he only caught phrases here and there. Things like "surgery went well", "managed to repair the damage" and "full recovery" made their way into his foggy mind. Luckily those were the only things he needed to hear and he nodded mutely when the doctor asked if he'd like to see his agent.

Before entering the room, Gibbs took a moment to dial his phone and tell Ducky the news. He hung up as soon as the words were out, not trusting his voice to do much more than give that short message. Ducky would tell everyone else.

He walked into Tony's room then, winding his way past machines and IV hooks to find the other man looking younger and yet older than ever before. A tube breathed for him, slowly and steadily, taking up the slack for lungs weakened not only by the trauma of the night but the plague before. The tube was temporary, all of it was, needed now only to help, to heal, to bring the body back where it needed to be. Gibbs only hoped that the man inside would heal now as well.

Pausing to rub a hand over Tony's forehead, he sat down quietly in the chair by the bed. He didn't want Tony to wake up alone. He reached out and put his hand over the younger man's, hoping that the touch would reassure him even as he slept.

Gibbs must have fallen asleep. The next thing he knew the hand below his moved. Gibbs eyes snapped open and he found himself staring into a pair of hazel ones. Pushing the button to call the doctor, Gibbs stood back as they came in, removing the tube that Tony no longer needed.

Once they were gone, he reached for Tony's hand again and the grip that met his was strong. Tony's mouth moved but a throat scratched and dry from the tube made it difficult to speak. Gibbs squeezed Tony's hand back.

"It's okay Tony. It's over. He's gone."

With that Tony's eyes filled with tears. Gibbs sat on the edge of the bed, holding the younger man as he let out the grief he'd held on to for too long.

Tony hadn't cried since the day Gibbs had found Kate. He hadn't allowed himself to let go, too intent on getting the man responsible for his loss. Not even at the funeral. His face had been a mask of grief as he'd put his wife into the ground, but he hadn't shed a single tear.

The weeks of terror, pain and grief that had been hidden behind a wall of defenses now came flooding out, the wall demolished with the death of the man who'd caused it all.

Gibbs let Tony cry, knowing that he needed to do it, he'd be better once it was done. Maybe not perfect, but better.

_To be continued….._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

_A year or so later…._

Gibbs strode purposefully into Abby's lab. It was a Saturday morning but all of his team (well, nearly all) were hard at work. They had weekend duty and some PFC had decided to fall off a building the night before. It was up to them to figure out if taking a swan dive had been his idea or if he'd had some help.

He was busy looking at the notes in his hands when he heard his name being called.

"Gibbs!!"

The voice brought a quick smile to his lips and he immediately put the notes into his pocket.

"Heya Vanni. How goes it?" Gibbs asked, stooping down to pick up his godson. Vanni hugged his godfather back and in doing so gave an extra squeeze to Bert the stuffed Hippo. The resulting noise sent the little boy into giggles of glee.

Gibbs walked the rest of the way into Abby's lab and found Tony studying the computer screen over her shoulder. Vanni's stroller was parked in the corner near her desk.

"DiNozzo, what're you doing here? You don't have weekend duty anymore, remember?"

"I know Boss but I saw the news and thought you guys could use some help. Besides, Vanni wanted to visit with Abby, didn't you Vanni?" Tony replied.

The little boy in Gibb's arms nodded, squeezing the toy again. "And Bert too," he added, as the hippo farted loudly. Gibbs chuckled.

"Alright, well let's see what we've got," Gibbs said, putting Vanni back down. Just as he was about to stand back up a little hand reached into his pocket, snatching his glasses and running away, giggling.

"Giovanni Antonio DiNozzo!" Tony called, having caught his son's antics out of the corner of his eye. "You give those back right now."

Vanni's only response to his father's warning was to run faster. "No!" he cried, running out of his father's reach.

Gibbs smiled broadly, nodding in approval. "Reminds me more of you everyday, DiNozzo."

Tony chased after his son, holding his hands out and growling like a monster.

"You're gonna get it now….The Monster is gonna eat you!" Tony said, sending Vanni running behind Abby's legs in mock terror, the glasses still held in his pudgy hands.

"Vanni! Go to the tunnel! The Monster can't get you in the tunnel!" Abby cried, pointing to her desk. The little boy took off, crawling under the desk with his father in hot pursuit. Giggles and growls were heard and nothing but the sight of Tony's long legs sticking out was seen for a minute or two. Then Tony popped up, holding a laughing toddler in one arm and the glasses in his other hand.

"Aha! The Monster has won!" Tony said, walking over to Gibbs and handing the glasses over with a flourish.

Taking back his stolen glasses, Gibbs ruffled his godson's hair and smiled at Tony. He was rewarded with a huge grin from his Senior Field Agent.

Tony put Vanni down and the little boy ran back to pick up Bert once again. Tony and Abby went back to their discussion and for a little while Gibbs did what he did best, moving into the background to watch. He was very good at it and soon both Tony and Abby had forgotten he was there. All his years as a sniper allowed him to blend in and not be noticed when he wished it.

He took in Tony's clothes, noticing that they were casual but stylish. It hadn't gone unnoticed by Gibbs' that for a while Tony had let himself go, taking the time to dress his son smartly, though not always himself.

Gibbs also noticed the stroller, a jogging model rather than a standard one. He took that to mean that Tony was running again, something Gibbs knew the younger man also hadn't done in a long time.

Finally he noticed the easy laughter that came that day, both from the antics of his son and the banter with Abby. When Vanni grew tired of Bert and began to whine a little, Tony barely paused in his conversation as he saw to his son's needs. Picking up the boy he quickly walked over to his bag hanging on the back of the stroller, pulling out a favorite toy.

Content, the toddler snuggled the toy and stuck a thumb in his mouth, leaning his head on his father's shoulder. Vanni drifted off as Tony rocked him instinctively, still talking intently with Abby and watching as she drew up schematics on the jumper's trajectory from the building.

The two debated the angles quietly for a while, mindful of the sleeping child in Tony's arms. It was Tony though who finally pointed out a minor discrepancy in the position of the body once it hit the ground. It gave them the exact launching point from the roof, which would help the investigation immensely. Abby was delighted and kissed Tony on the cheek as a reward for his sharp eyes.

Through it all Gibbs watched Tony's features carefully and saw something that for a long time he wondered if he'd ever see again.

Tony was happy.

What happened on the day Vanni was born would always hurt, again Gibbs knew that from experience, but it was getting better.

Gibbs also knew that Tony had something that he himself had never had, or at least never allowed himself to have. He had a "family" there to help.

The End


End file.
